I’m writing this the day after The Boy has left for a work trip, which makes me sad (partly because I promised to sort out the spare room while he was away, and I’m three hours in and still only about halfway through). I’m also writing this in the same room as what I believe are my wrapped birthday presents, which makes me wonder if I could open them and then rewrap them really, really carefully (I won’t do it, of course. Partly because I’ve written it down now and he’ll know).
This week, I thought I’d talk a little bit about keeping things classy. I’m not about to get into a discussion about what constitutes classy clothing and the like (as I’ve previously posted – you do whatever makes your heart happy), but that does lead me rather nicely to an irritating trend that I’m noticing a bit more nowadays, which is where someone says/does/wears something that someone else disagrees with, and the second person takes it upon themselves to passive aggressively (or sometimes just downright aggressively) assert their opinion that the first person is wrong. It generally then leads to an almighty argument, with people jumping in to defend the first person from the unexpected and/or unwarranted comments.
I’m not sure I’ve explained what I mean, but what I’m trying to say is – just because someone says or does something someone disagrees with (unless it’s obviously or deliberately offensive), I don’t understand why people feel the need to comment. It’s not your life, it’s not actually got anything to do with you, so why do you feel the need to be rude?
By lucky coincidence, as I was considering whether to use any examples in this post, I came across one that perfectly summed it up. Bear with me as I start my explanation – I promise it’s going somewhere.
As someone who loves vintage, retro and kitsch things (if The Boy would consent to a Tiki bar-themed dining room, it would be re-decorated faster than he could finish the sentence), I fully embrace flamingos. However, I also understand that some people might look at our pink, feathery friends, and wonder what all the fuss is about.
Both opinions are perfectly valid, and everyone is entitled to theirs.
However, earlier this week, I saw someone passively aggressively asking for a group to be renamed ‘Flamingo Fans’ (or something like that) and for an admin to then remove them from the group, because they were annoyed that a few people had posted flamingo-themed things in a relatively short space of time.
Never mind that they could quite easily have removed themselves from the group had they so desired, and told people why as and when they asked. Or just hidden the group from their feed. Instead, they decided to become increasingly rude about the group and people in it, and just generally be a bit of a knob.
It was totally unnecessary, and just caused bad feeling and upset.
Another example is this photo. I posted it up earlier in the week, to demonstrate two things: 1. My style has changed significantly in the past four years and 2. While fake tan looks simply amazing on some people (my sister, for one), on me, it just looks a bit odd.
Someone took it upon herself to tell me that, in her opinion, I look younger with a tan. It could very, very easily have turned into an argument, where I told her exactly where to go with her ‘opinion’ (somewhere very, very far away, in case you were wondering), but instead, I pointed out that the fake tan photo is four years old. (And then added a sarcastic comment regarding the anti-ageing powers of a tangerine complexion, because I’m not a frigging saint.) We parted as friends, but still – it really wasn’t necessary.
I have a very wise and lovely friend (so lovely that even when I told her that I was a fan of hers before we met, she smiled and said thank you, instead of calling me a weirdo and deleting my number), who is very nice to everyone she meets, offers smart advice on topics she knows a lot about, and makes me smile whenever we speak. Because of this and more, I hold her up as my example of what keeping things classy looks like.
So, ladies and gents – there are lots of shitty, horrible and downright terrifying things out there in the world these days. Let’s all try and do our bit to make the world a nicer place, and follow a sage piece of advice from that wise rabbit, Thumper: